Sad

I dont know why I keep this feeling inside of me. I just dont know how to let it go. Maybe it caused by Indra's last call. He said he's sorry 4 what Jason've done to Evi. He felt responsible because Jason knew Evi through us. Jason asked Evi to be his girlfriend once. But Evi can't say yes coz the distance, Jason at Sgpr n Evi at Jkt, also they just known only 4 few months. Evi said pls wait n see. The day before Indra called me, Jason told Evi that he has feeling 4 another girl. He also asked Evi's opinion about this girl. That was their first fight I guess :p. At that night, Evi come to my room n told me about this. I felt angry also. How he can be that stupid n didn't consider Evi's feeling by saying that. The day after that Indra called me. Jason so scared that Evi got angry with him, n asked Indra to call me. I remembered clearly what he said to me that day : please tell Evi that I'm sorry. Then I asked him, why u asked 4 an apology, u did no wrong. He just felt responsible n he said he can't that meant to a friend. After he said all that, I just felt like have been struck by a giant truck. It hurt me, Indra could say sorry 4 someone he didn't know, in this case Evi, but he has no courage to say I'm sorry coz gave me hope n then took it back. I guess if Jason didn't asked him to call me, he wouldn't call. Somehow I realize that I meant nothing 4 him. That feeling really pushed me to the bottom of nowhere n I have no power to stand back. Why this happened to me again? Why I can't stop my tears when remember this? Why this hurt me so deeply? I kept asking n the answer never come. How long do I have to carry this feeling?